How late I am to writing this is probably indicative of what it’s like being a new parent. As I start writing this Gideon is already over 8 months old! I will reference some of my journal entries from around the time of his birth and then will add some general observations and updates since then.

From my journals:

Emily was doing a lot better with the epidural, but those doses only last about 3 hours. She got about 3.5 hours out of it and we were back to throwing up and struggling through every contraction. We were able to re-up the epidural and buy us more time. Ultimately, so much was already taken out of Emily just weathering the contractions before even needing to start the pushing process which could take an unknown amount of time. Emily was losing confidence in her strength to be able to push for long enough especially considering that Gideon was sunny side up which essentially means the wrong side for an easy birth.

With all that in mind Emily started asking about doing a c-section. At first I was a bit skeptical about the approach but as she explained it I recognized how much pain she had already been through and that just making it to full dilation in order to start pushing doesn’t guarantee an easy or a quick birth. So we had a conversation and decided it was for the best. She ended up at 9cm dilated before we decided on c-section. After that decision was made they got Emily prepped and got us into an operating room a little after noon. I was so nervous and worried about it. I knew it would be hard for me to see that happen to her. They got her prepped and then I walked in and sat by her head to comfort her. The doctors were on the other side of the blue surgical divider getting to work. We chatted and I could tell how strong she was being.. It was incredible to do it with a smile. Then we heard his cry for the first time and Emily instantly began crying and I was as close to crying as I’ve been in years… Wow! Our whole lives changed just like that. I got shuffled over to look at him and see him get weighed. I also got to cut his umbilical cord.

Then they gave him to us at Emily’s head to hang out as a family as they got Emily stitched back up, but I could tell Emily was in a ton of pain. She was in a different place mentally just to cope. Eventually they rolled her out with Gideon on her chest. I followed behind and they took us to a bed to do some check up and post c-section stuff. Emily got to breast feed him for the first time and some nurses came in to help. That was sweet to see.

[We made it to our recovery room and pretty much tried to figure out how to be parents to a newborn.] Sleep was intermittent back and forth and Emily did a great job of feeding and comforting him. I was able to get some rest. At some point it turned into tomorrow, but it certainly wasn’t sleep based.

We rolled into our first full day of parenthood. Gideon slept for about 4 hours straight at one point which was so needed by us! We settled in to spend the whole day at the hospital. Gideon got his first bath. Emily got up and walked after the drugs wore off. I ate some cafeteria breakfast and mostly we just hung out while Emily fed him and I wiped him on repeat. There were disruptions with Emily’s meds and both of their readings and measurements. Before dinner we were feeling pretty comfortable and Emily was okay with it so I went for a 5 mile run near the hospital. That was pretty nice to take a breather and clear my mind some. I thought about how much my life has changed and how awesome it is. My biggest fear is that I will be selfish and lack patience. But this is the ultimate test to develop patience. God is good!

At one point she was talking about how in love she was with little Giddy that she even suggested having another one despite throwing up her entire stomach contents and getting cut open just a day prior. Women are crazy! I am so blessed by Emily.

Life since:

This would probably be a completely different version had I written this a week, a month, or even three months after he was born but being this far removed I really get to see how worth it it has all been. God has been so good to us. Gideon has truly been such a blessing. It’s been incredible to watch him grow and learn and it’s a privilege to be his dad.

At the start, he had the personality of a potato and all he does is eat, sleep, and poop. As a new parent you also have no idea what you’re doing. The learning curve is steep, but once you start figuring it out you can relax a little. The first couple of weeks we were on edge the entire time trying to do the right things and keep him alive. It takes a while, but we also figured out the quirks. Early on the “witching hour” was a very common occurrence for us. Gideon would just scream and cry no matter what you did from anywhere between 4-8pm. Emily would go to bed early and I would pace around the house trying to get him to stop crying. Once I figure out this is just what he does during that window of the day it wasn’t so bad, especially during football season. Sunday Night, Monday Night, and Thursday Night Football were spent with me on the couch with Gideon on my chest wailing while watching football. If I was lucky, I would get him to fall asleep and I’d watch the rest of the game with him asleep on my chest so he wouldn’t reawaken during the witching hour and resume his crying. After the game, and past the witching hour window, I would put him down for the night and hop into bed. You just figure it out.

Now at over 8 months old, he is a lot of fun! It’s a complete joy to watch him crawl around the house and explore new things and learn. There is nothing better than tickling him and tossing him in the air and hearing his giggles! When I think of how much he has changed in the past 8 months it’s hard to fathom what he will be like in another 8 months let alone 8 years. All I know is that I have a great wife, who is a wonderful mom, to do it with. I am so excited for what lies ahead! God is good!